i rolled my ankle in the woods and now i can hardly walk, am hurling my body from surface to surface,

when everything has already been written, in any language, in every language, before you throw those stones at me tell me what is your house made of EVERYTHING IS SO FUCKING DRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

delete, melodrama.

i only care for things i can touch. (am only interested, in)

substance, plot, storyline, character development.

flannery o'connor, everything that rises must converge, the yage letters;

maybe something herman hesse, related. ive got some things to throw away.

but lets remember i've always been messy about my clothes. .

raw trash,

and georgia sam.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jq_gXjm7XjM

madness,

for lying down, the color of myself, no sound, wandering around in bhanus words.

debt, subjugation, and decay.

turquoise, silver,

the pulse of a lost moment,

they are notes. they are days.

there's no one living in my old place, and i've found myself slipping up the three floors of rickety wrought iron fire escape and letting myself in - to press up against the windows, to be enveloped in the navy of late night, and the crystalline sun through the kitchen windows, the reason i was drawn to that space,

if i could only pack up, and keep that one room with me;
if i could keep it all with me;

if i do,
if i could..

that house was an atrocity, but i travel there to say goodbye, 5 years of friendship, the intimacy of handholds, how eras end, surrounded by piles of my discarded clothes, crying into each others shoulders as she whispers "thank you" the only words i can manage are, "it was nice to meet you."

at home, i finish my interlude work, huddle in the hallway and straighten up for the first days of tomorrow. propped up in his typewriter i find, in andy's untidy script;

"all of the gods were dead.

a great flood rose up from the sea

as the earth began to lose its shape

the stars fell from the sky,

and soon the whole earth

had sunk beneath the ocean.

the end had come."